Ah, summer! That glorious season when we Brits shed our woolen overcoats and venture forth, pale and blinking, into the unfamiliar warmth of actual sunshine. It’s a time when thoughts turn to ice lollies, cricket, and – if you’re feeling particularly adventurous – adorning one’s epidermis with permanent artwork.
Yes, dear reader, I speak of tattoos. Those marvelous, sometimes regrettable, always fascinating marks that have graced human skin since time immemorial. From the sacred geometries of Polynesian warriors to the anchors and swallows of salty sea dogs, tattoos have long been a way for humans to tell their stories without uttering a word.
But getting inked in the summer presents its own unique set of challenges. Allow me to guide you through this prickly subject with all the grace and decorum of a tipsy vicar at a garden party.
Getting Tattooed in Summer: Pros and Cons
Pros:
There’s something about the languid days of summer that makes one want to be a bit naughty, isn’t there? Perhaps it’s the heat addling our brains, or the sudden abundance of exposed flesh reminding us of our own mortality. Whatever the reason, many find themselves drawn to the tattoo parlor as moths to a flame.
And why not? There are certainly advantages to getting tattooed in the warmer months. For one, you have more free time to lovingly tend to your new artwork like a doting parent. No need to worry about your tattoo catching on that scratchy wool jumper when you’re swanning about in nothing but shorts and a smile.
Plus, there’s the undeniable allure of showing off your new tattoo at the beach or the local pub garden. Nothing says “I’m interesting and mysterious” quite like a freshly inked design peeking out from under your sundress or swim trunks.
Cons:
But before you rush off to get “Mum” tattooed across your bicep (a classic choice, I must say), let us consider the potential pitfalls of summer inking.
First things first, there’s the sun. That great ball of fire in the sky, giver of life and scorcher of pale English skin, is no friend to a fresh tattoo. UV rays can fade your new tattoo faster than you can say “I immediately regret this decision.” And let’s not forget the risk of sunburn on tender, newly tattooed skin – a sensation I imagine is akin to being slapped repeatedly with a hot kipper.
Then there’s the issue of water. Whether it’s the salty embrace of the sea or the chlorinated depths of your local lido, submerging a fresh tattoo is about as advisable as using a toaster as a bath toy. The risk of infection is higher than the chances of me turning down a second helping of trifle.
And let’s not forget the perspiration situation. In the halcyon days of summer, we tend to sweat more than a politician at a press conference. This salty excretion can interfere with the healing process, potentially leading to a tattoo that looks less like a work of art and more like a drunken doodle.
A Guide for the Determined Inkling
If, despite these warnings, you find yourself irresistibly drawn to the tattoo needle this summer, fear not! I have compiled a list of tips to help you navigate these treacherous waters:
- Sun Protection: Once your tattoo has healed (which takes about a month, give or take), slather on the sunscreen like it’s going out of fashion. We’re talking SPF 50+ here, not that paltry factor 15 you’ve had lurking in the back of your bathroom cabinet since 1998.
- Hydration: Keep your new ink moisturized. Think of your tattoo as a very expensive, very permanent houseplant. Water it regularly (internally and externally) and it will flourish.
- Hygiene: Wash your tattoo gently with mild soap and lukewarm water. Treat it with the same care and attention you would give to washing the Queen’s finest china.
- Avoid Water: Stay out of pools, lakes, and the sea until your tattoo is fully healed. If you must swim, I suggest a full-body wetsuit. You may look like a confused deep-sea diver at your local lido, but at least your tattoo will be safe.
- Appropriate Clothing: Opt for loose, breathable garments. Think less “shrink-wrapped Love Island contestant” and more “comfortable English eccentric.”
- Physical Activity: Limit strenuous exercise for the first few days post-tattoo. This is an excellent excuse to spend more time horizontal with a good book and a gin and tonic.
Getting a tattoo in summer is not for the faint of heart. It requires dedication, care, and a willingness to forgo some of summer’s greatest pleasures in the name of art. But if you’re determined to emerge from this season with a permanent reminder of that time you thought getting “Carpe Diem” in Sanskrit was a good idea, then who am I to stand in your way?
Just remember, a tattoo is for life, not just for summer. Choose wisely, care for it diligently, and may your ink be ever vibrant and your regrets minimal. That being said, if you’ll excuse me, I have a suddenly overwhelming urge to get “Fish and Chips” tattooed across my knuckles. Tally-ho!
